Reflection
by GreenEmeraldGirlxoxo
Summary: After Clary is killed in by a demon, Simon reflects on why he didn't tell her sooner that he loved her, and maybe, she wouldn't have fallen for Jace.


**My second Clary/Simon fic! I hope you like… Hum, this is also depressing like the last one. BTW- Simon doesn't have the mark of Cain! **

**Pairings: One-sided Simon/Clary, one-sided Simon/Isabella, and Jace/Clary, Simon/Maia-friendship.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Interments.**

"Clary, no!" Jace and Simon yelled, and rushed to the falling shadow hunter. The demon had just slashed Clary across the chest, and blood poured heavily from the wound. Simon could tell from where he was that the wound was fatal, and Clary had only minutes to live.

Jace fell to his knees beside Clary, and placed her head on his lap. Isabella finished off the last demon and came running.

"Oh, god, what happened?" She asked, watching Jace's face carefully. Jace allowed the tears to flow freely, as he held his dying love.

"Maybe a ruin?" Simon suggested weakly, collapsing on the other side of Clary.

"It won't work. The wound is fatal. She's going to die." Isabella said tearfully. Isabella hovered above her brother, friend and boy friend.

"Clary!" Simon broke down. Blood rolled down his cheeks, in the place of tears. The daylighter sobbed, while his first love and best friend died.

"It's okay. Don't cry."

Simon and Jace's heads whipped up, and waited for the girl to continue.

"I love all of you. So please, just live your life. Don't… Don't stop living because I made a stupid mistake. Jace; you can't give up. I need you to live. And Simon, be happy with Isabella. You'll always be my best friend Simon. Isabella, keep Simon alive. I love you all…." Clary's eyelids closed, depriving the world of her beautiful green eyes. Her head lolled to the side, and her chest stopped moving.

"Clary," Jace whispered brokenly, "Don't leave me."

Simon's jaw fell slack. Clary was gone forever.

"Damn it! Why didn't I save her?" Simon curse, slamming his fists against the stone ground.

"Why didn't you? Why didn't I? She was my girl friend!" Jace put Clary's head on the ground and was on his feet. He grabbed Simon by the collar of the shirt and hauled him to his feet.

"I've known her longer! I've loved her longer!" Simon yelled, voice dripping with venom. Isabella gaped at her boy friend. Did he just confess to being in love with someone else while he had her? Why did Isabella's heart hurt so much after these words were spoken?

"Go to hell you stupid vampire! You should have died a long time ago!" Jace slammed his fist into Simon's face, shattering the bone in his nose. Blood splattered out, hitting Jace, the ground and Isabella. Simon couldn't feel the pain. His nose had already started the healing process.

Simon growled. A deep rumbling from deep inside his chest. Isabella watched, and waited for the whole thing to blow over.

"I'm going." Simon turned on his heel and stormed out of the empty department building. The smell of blood, iron and copper, filled his broken nostrils. Strange, you'd think he'd enjoy the smell of blood. Oddly, not. His eye flickered down, and saw he was drenched in Clary's blood. Hum, that would explain why it was so revolting.

"Simon!" Isabella called, heels clanking on the stone pavement.

Simon paused and waited impatiently for Isabella catch up. She slowed her pace, coming to a standstill behind the paused vampire.

"What? Did Jace send you to apologize? If that's the case, I don't need a messenger. He can get his ass over here and give me a damn apology." Simon was hissing, causing Isabella to shiver. Hurt shone in her eyes.

"Is that why you think I'm here, Simon?" Her voice quavered. Why was this affecting her so much?

Simon turned his head in her direction, not bothering to turn his body her way. A knowing glint glistened in his red rimmed eyes. "You don't care about me. You just date me to spite your parents."

Hot, anger and somewhat hurt tears spilled from her eyes. "You're an asshole Simon Lewis! I do care about you! The world isn't about you damn it! I know you still love Clary more than me, even if she loves Jace! Why? Why wasn't I good enough for you, Simon?"

Simon hesitated, "Because you're not Clary." Simon smiled dryly. "Sometimes the truth hurts, Izzy." He spun around and sprinted away from her.

Isabella's knees buckled from under her. She finally found someone who thought _she_ wasn't good enough for them, instead of her thinking that. The tears burned, as they continued to flow, without hesitation. For once in her life, Isabella Lightwood, was crying over a guy. She dug her palms into her eyes and wept. A light rain drizzled in the sky, projecting Isabella's mood excellently.

Simon ran. He ran till his legs burned, but still he did not stop. His legs carried him away. Away from his dead best friend and the girl whose heart he'd just broken. Eventually, his legs could no longer support him, and he'd fallen to the ground in a broken heap. Bloodied tears streamed down from his already swollen eyes. Simon's nose had long since healed, and he pressed his face into grass, letting the tears poison the Earth. Simon felt as if his heart had been tossed in a paper shredder and dumped back into his chest. Pushing his knees under him, Simon dragged his face along the grass, and put his hands under him. Simon pulled his face away from the blood soaked grass. A light rain began to fall from the sky.

"Why?" He whispered, slamming a clenched fist onto the grass. The hand stayed there, and he dug his nails into the grass. Simon was so frustrated and confused. His fingers sunk deep into the depths of the plant, and he hacked out clumps of earth.

"Why did you take Clary? It should have been me! I should have died a long time ago, when I was caught outside in the sunlight! Damn it! Why? Clary should still be here! You should have taken me instead!" Simon cried, pounding his fists into the mangled ground.

"Why did you take Clary?" He echoed his words. Clary's pale face and lifeless green eyes would stay forever burned in his mind. Forever. And he had forever.

"Maybe, if I hadn't been such a spineless rat and told Clary that I'd loved her a long time ago, she might still be alive." Just saying Clary's name made him choke up with sobs. But Simon knew, deep in his frozen heart, that she would have eventually met Jace and would have broken his heart further.

"But… That would have only delayed the fact she would have di—" Simon was unable to speak this last word. He just did not want to except the fact Clary was gone. He wanted to fold her against him and tell her it'd be alright after one of her fights with Jace. He wanted to touch her skin, hair, and face. Without her, Simon felt more like the vampire he wished he could forget.

"Simon?"

Simon jerked his head up, and saw Maia running out of the trees and straight at him.

"Oh, god, are you okay?" She asked him, falling to her knees beside him.

Simon shook his head, and could still feel the tears flowing heavily. "No… Clary… She… She's gone." Maia's eyes softened. She wrapped her arms around Simon in a comforting hug. No hidden romantic gesture. Just her friendship. Simon was sure he didn't deserve her comfort. He was just too weak and tried to shrug her off.

"Oh, Simon. It'll be all right." Maia tried to sound sympathetic, but Simon was really being soft.

"Come on, Simon. Clary wouldn't want to see you like this." She said, attempting to wipe away his tears.

Simon swiped her hands away and stood up, shaking with rage. "I don't want your sympathy! And how the hell would you know what Clary would want! She was _my_ best friend and _my_ first love! How could you be so insensitive to that?" Each word stabbed Maia painfully in the heart.

"Because she was my friend too! I loved Clary as well! I wasn't trying to be insensitive, Simon! I was trying to help you!" Maia snapped, glaring darkly at the rage filled vampire. (She meant friend love. I hope you know that!)

Slowly, Simon stopped shaking, and the rage slipped from his features. He sagged slightly, suddenly exhausted from lack of will power. "Your right." Maia could barely hear Simon's feeble words. Simon and Maia stared at each other. The rain slowly washed away Simon's tears.

"Thank you, Maia." Maia smiled and hugged Simon gently. Simon didn't fail to notice the agonizing pain still embedded in his chest.

The next month, Simon attended Clary's funeral. He watched as they lowered her coffin into the cold ground of the earth. Simon noted that Isabella was not in attendance. Jace, Jocelyn and Luke were bawling in the front. Simon, un-able to produce tears anymore, observed everything from a distance and a heavy ache in his chest.

Every year, on the day that Clary had died, Simon visited her grave with exactly twelve Adam's needle flowers and Amaranths. Meaning best friends and immortal love. He lay the blossoms at the bottom of the tomb stone.

Even after a hundred years, Simon was keeping his tradition of visiting Clary's grave.

And one day, when a feud broke out between shadow hunters, Simon ended up in the middle, and died a quick death. But none of this mattered, it was his time to be with her. Clary. As Simon's dark eyes closed, a small smile played at his lips.

A week later, some of the vampires buried Simon next to Clary, and left with his tombstone with an engraving.

Simon Lewis, the daylighter was dead. But at least he reflected. Maybe Clary would have chosen him. But no one will ever know.

**Oh my god! That took forever to type! Strange, considering it was only about 1, 500 words. More or less. I hope you enjoyed. And check out my other Simon/Clary fics! Not all are depressing… I don't think. Review.**

**~Emerald~ **


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